Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime
by The Black Rose 17
Summary: Artemis and Juliet are suspicious of Butler, but he is up to something very different to usual, Artemis finds him self with a new person in his life and takes him on a rollacoaster of adventures but she is not all she seems. Please Review
1. Suspicion

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner in Crime **

**Chapter 1: Suspicion**

It was a very wet February afternoon, where 14 year old Artemis Fowl found himself crouched behind a car with a pair of high tech binoculars pressed to his eyes, next to him was Juliet Butler visiting her brother, from the states where she was currently trying to break through into professional wrestling world. Juliet to had binoculars pressed to her eyes jabbering endlessly, to Artemis's great annoyance, constantly complaining about the weather and that it was wrecking her hair. Artemis's patience was wearing very thin, they were supposed to be on a stake out mission and Juliet could not shut up for one minute despite several complaints from him but the young girl took next to no notice of his wishes, neither was he enjoying the rain pounding down on his waterproof jacket. He was cold and wet and there mission was yielding no results as of yet, they had been there and hour and they had acquired no more knowledge than they had started with, staring through this rain streaked restaurant window from across the road using the old car as coverage. If he weren't Artemis Fowl and what he said was determination and most other said was the stubbornness and arrogance of a troll he would have given up long ago, warming himself by the fire at Fowl Manor with a hot chocolate in his hand. Juliet had already suggested this to him many a time, telling him that we could come back another day but her willingness to give up made him even more determined to see this assignment through to the very end.

Now you may be wondering why our criminal prodigy is spending his valuable time staring into a restaurant window in the middle of a torrential downpour. If not than you have clearly you have no idea who Artemis Fowl is and therefore do not find it at all strange that he would so such a thing at all unless it involved huge riches and especially not without the aid of his loyal body guard Butler. If this is the case then you probably don't want to carry on reading as you will have very little idea of what is going on.

Well it started a little less than a month ago, for Artemis anyway. He had noticed strange behaviour in Butler and had been shrewdly observing it for a couple of weeks before taking action. Butler had been more distracted than normal, less vigilant. He sometimes caught him staring off into the distance and Artemis had to repeat him sentence several time for an answer. Now he was quite accustomed to Butler not understanding a word he was saying when he was on a scientific rant and he was very aware that he was mostly talking to himself at these times. But his friend always pretended to listen even if he wasn't and would answer immediately when a when a question was asked of him afterwards, now it was like he was not all there, although his work standards did not falter greatly Artemis noticed the difference in behaviour. Of course he did, he was Artemis Fowl he saw everything. It would be ridiculous for him not to see changes in the man he had been with since birth.

It was not just the distractedness that was odd Butler had been taking a lot of time of recently, Artemis did not mind. He agreed that Butler was entitled to time off every once and a while and usually it was his body guard who refused to take it, believing that Artemis could not survive on his own for more than an our. This may be true as there was always someone trying to get revenge on the boy genius, but now it seemed odd that he felt capable to leave his principal by himself for a couple of hours a week to go off to who knows where? This is what he and Juliet were trying to figure out, when Juliet had come back from America to take a break from her wrestling career to visit her brother Artemis had informed her immediately about her siblings strange behaviour who agreed that this was unusual in Bulter. Although this was not before Juliet managed to give him a welcome hug until he could barely breathe, needless to say anyone else had done that they would have found themselves regretting it instantly. Artemis may have changed a lot recently but he was still not a huggy person and probably never would be. Juliet and Artemis started plotting then trying to find out what Butler was up to, well at least Artemis plotted whereas Juliet just wanted to black mail it out of him and confront him head on. But our prodigy insisted on acquiring more knowledge first in case it was some kind of trap, or plot to harm butler or Artemis himself for that matter.

And this was why Artemis and Juliet were staking out a restaurant they had followed butler there using a tracker our devious youth had placed on him. They had been very confused on why Butler would be here of all places, the Italian Restaurant really wasn't his scene, no guns, no fights, no megalomaniac to protect his principal from. Although they could not actually see Butler from the window since he was sitting behind a large pillar completely obscuring his table from view. After another half an hour of patiently waiting, or impatiently in Juliet's case until anything of significance happened, until Artemis kicked Juliet to shut her up but before she could complain she saw butler reappearing (finally) from the door way, he seemed to be with someone, a woman by the looks of it but before either of them could get a good look at who the person Butler drew a big black umbrella, opening it so it covered the persons face and as he was putting it up a large delivery truck parked itself right in front of the restaurant obscuring either of them from view, and next time the body guard appeared he was getting back into the sleek black Land Rover, alone.

"D' Arvit" Cried Juliet throwing her binoculars down in frustration, she had waited all this time for nothing.

"Language please Juliet." Artemis said calmly for someone who had just waited an hour and a half in a heavy downpour for next to no results.

"So what do we do now Arty?" Asked Juliet stretching and getting back to her feet.

" We go back and confront Butler directly." Artemis too got to his feet and they walked over to the car.

" Yeah 'cause I never would have thought of that." She said voice dripping with sarcasm shaking her head slightly annoyed that the genius could not come up with anything better than her original suggestion, she thought as she climbed into the drivers seat with the young delinquent next to her.

"Juliet." He addressed her, turning round to stare at her.

" Yes." she replied

"Shut up and drive." Artemis put bluntly in rely to her sarcasm. Juliet just laughed at him and started to drive back to Fowl Manor

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><p><strong><em>Thank You For reading please review else how can it get better,promise it's more exciting in the second chapter<em>**

**ARTEMIS: Can't get any worse this story sucks **

**ME(ROSE): Don't say that or else no one will want to read it :( **

**ARTEMIS: I don't blame them**

**ROSE: Shall I force feed you lollipops? **

**ARTEMIS: I'll be good**


	2. Maniacal Laughter

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime**

**Chapter 2: Maniacal Laughter**

When Juliet and Artemis got back first thing on there to-do list was take a shower and change into some dry clothes. But next call of duty was to confront Butler on his most suspicious behaviour over the last few weeks. It was clear that he had been having private meetings, with a mystery person, without consulting his employee. Artemis used the intercom in his office to call Butler in his office, Butler was loyally was knocking on the door within seconds.

"Enter." Said Artemis from behind his mahogany desk, Juliet was sitting on the edge of cluttered deck swinging her legs back and forth grinning from ear to ear, at the prospect of finding her brothers secret.

"Yes Artemis what is the matter?" Butler asked in his gruff tones, entering the study.

" I have noticed that you have been taking an awful lot of time of recently and you are more distracted than usual, why is that?" Artemis asked elbows leaning on is desk and fingers steepled penetrating Butler with his cold dark eyes.

Butlers face went slightly pinker something that had not happened since he was a child involving an accident with jelly and 5th birthday partyand when he next spoke his voice was high and strained, "Erm... It's nothing, just a little business it doesn't matter."

"Bro that was the worst lie I ever heard come out of your mouth." Juliet giggled.

"Yeah, Butler you could have done so much better, have you not learned anything from me?" Artemis said, disappointedly , " So what have you really been doing."

"Nothing I swear!" Butler insisted face turning a darker red as he spoke

" Do not insult my rather considerable intelligence, with these pathetic excuses for a cover up. We know your up to something so just tell us." He replied, managing to give his ego yet another boost.

"Fine okay I'll tell you promise you wont laugh though." Butler admitted

"Depends if it's funny or not." Shrugged his sister told him folding her arms.

"I wont say then." Butler tutted.

"Okay, we promise not laugh don't we Arty?" Artemis remained silent "Don't we Arty?" She emphasized slapping him on the arm with the back of her hand. Butler twitched slightly as she hit him, he was so used to protecting Artemis that even though he knew that Juliet meant him no harm and Artemis couldn't take a punch if his life depended on it. It still hurt him when anyone touched his principal.

"Oww!" Artemis exclaimed rubbing his forearm where she had hit him,

"Learn to take a hit nancy, and promise." She insulted him.

"Fine I promise." He said exasperatedly

Butler raised a sceptic eyebrow

"Honestly."

"I'll believe that when I see it, Mister criminal mastermind." Butler said

Artemis just grinned like a vampire, "Well are you going to tell us or not?"

"Okay," Butler fidgeted nervously " Well you see it's hard to say I've b-been seeing someone, a woman."

"Hang on a second " Cried Juliet, shocked" Are you saying you've got a girlfriend."

"Yes if you like." Confessed the body guard

The two teenagers burst out in a roar of laughter, Juliet had fallen of the desk top from laughing so hard and was rolling around on the floor unable to breathe. More surprising than the fact that Butler had a girlfriend was that Artemis was actually crying with laughing and was clutching a stitch in his side from the hysterics. Obviously not regretting breaking there promises. Butler just stood up and headed for the door.

Artemis managed to get his breath back enough to say " Wait Butler come back, it's not that bad."

"Are you quite finished then?" He said to the youths sitting back down, he was one of the most feared men in the world and did not appreciate being laughed at by these pair. He was not used to it most people made the mistake once. Just once. But Artemis and his kid sister were probably the only to people who could get anyway with it without suffering from severe damage to there limbs.

" Yeah were finished." Juliet giggled getting back up to her feet.

"Wait a minute." Artemis said holding up a finger signalling to wait has he let out another burst of high slightly maniacal laughter " Okay I'm done now." he sighed a deep breathe to get the remains of the humour out of it his system.

"So what's she like." Juliet inquired genuinely interested now she had gotten over the initial surprise.

"Her name is Caroline, is an English teacher, and really nice, she has a kid about Artemis's age maybe a bit older from a previous relationship, I dunno never actually met the kid myself and her names Alice. We have been going out for a month now and it is going really well and I think it's really becoming something serious."

"Awww," sighed Juliet,

"Pass me a bucket, I think I'm about to vomit." Artemis rolled his eyes and pretend to be sick putting two fingers into his mouth.

"Shut it Arty, how did you meet then?" the younger Butler inquired

Butler went a red once again " Err... We just sort of bumped into each other."

" Not you didn't, how did it really happen?" His little sister asked

" At a book signing." Butler said sheepishly

" What kind of book signing." Artemis scrutinized

" Just the normal kind, you know you buy a book and the author signs it." the body guard said looking anywhere but at his young employer

"Yes Butler, considering that I have the highest IQ of anyone in the world at the moment I know how a book signing works. I meant What kind of book were you buying what genre?" The boy genius asked irritably.

He coughed slightly and then he mumbled " Romance."

"What say it again?" Artemis said to be sure he had heard what he thought he had his malicious smile coming back.

"Romance." Butler said louder.

Juliet and Artemis promptly burst in to fits of hysterics. Artemis had not laughed so much in his whole life, banging his fist against his desk and Juliet fell to her knees once more. Butler this time took off and left for real this time, heading to the dojo to release some anger, Artemis did not try and stop him this time possibly because he could see him leave through thick tears of laughter streaming down his face. So he left leaving the youngsters to laugh at him by themselves. This was exactly the reason why Butler had been reluctant to tell either of them in the first place as he new there reaction would be a highly embarrassing one. This was the price of working with people so much younger than you even if there skills did not reflect there age. Ridiculous.

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><p><strong>THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE REVIEW OR IT WON'T GET BETTER ! NEW CHARACTERS NEXT TIME AND THE STORY REALLY GETS GOING! :D TUNE IS NEXT TIME 3<strong>

**ARTEMIS: This isn't a TV show. **

**ROSE: Ha I wish, buy me one moneybags? **

**ARTEMIS: Not a chance in hell?**

**ROSE: Awww :3 *puppy dog eyes* **

**ARTEMIS: You can't do puppy dog eyes and even you could they wouldn't work on me. **

**ROSE: Cold Hearted Git **

**ARTEMIS: Coming from you? Well it is fun... *Vampire grin, both cover ears over fan girl scream * **


	3. Hate at First Site?

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime **

**Chapter 3: Hate at First Site? **

ARTEMIS Fowl and his ever loyal body guard, Butler walked into an elegant restaurant in the posh side of Liverpool. The boy was finally meeting Butlers new partner, after he had got over the hilariousness of the situation, he had been quite insistent on meeting Caroline. Juliet had very much wanted to come too but she had to back to America to continue her wrestling career as the Jade Princess but had demanded ( actually threatened would be a more accurate term) that Artemis gave her all the gossip as soon as the evening was over. The pair strode over to there reserved table with Artemis in the lead, naturally, and he was surprised to find someone was already sitting there, a girl about his age by the looks of it with raven hair, darker than his own, her skin too was pale like his own. She had her feet up on the chair next to her, head down texting on her phone and iPod plugged in and so loud that they could hear it thudding slowly from her earphones. For the reason she did not hear the first time Artemis addressed her or the second for that matter and it was only on the third attempt to grab her attention that she replied.

"What?" She said taking an earbud out

"You happen to be sitting on our reserved table." Artemis replied indignantly, something was weird her for one thing she did not seem at all cowed by Butlers enormousness like the majority of people that he met.

"No I'm not, this is my table and I'm waiting for people." the strange girl spoked with a strong Liverpudlian accent, Butler had to commend her for not shrinking away in fear as most people did when they first met the boy genius.

Butler knew what was going on and took a good guess to who this teenager was " Artemis I don't think-" he started before he was cut off before he could get his words out

"Butler be quiet please, I am dealing with this." Artemis told him

"But I really don't think that -" he tried to carry on to save his Master the embarrassment of being wrong for once.

"What did I just say?" He cut in again " Honestly Butler you need to listen more, I am a prodigy after all."

The girl giggled at him and Artemis looked at her piercing her with his blue/black eyes.

"And what exactly do you find so amusing?" He said looking down her nose at her.

" Ha he, well you acting all high and mighty and you don't even know what's going on. Your Artemis Fowl I'm guessing and Butler. " She answered knowingly

" How do know that?" Artemis seemed rather oblivious to the whole situation.

" Artemis she is Caroline's daughter, Alice," Butler said quietly into his ear "and sit down people are staring ." Sitting diagonally across from Alice, leaving a extremely annoyed Artemis to sit directly opposite her.

"Nice to meet you ," she said to Butler, smiling as though it was a struggle , " Mum will be here in a minute she had to come straight from work so she will be a bit late, so she sent me first so you don't think that we bailed out on the whole thing."

"It's fine." Butler waved the apology off graciously

"Isn't it nice to meet me?" Artemis replied obviously offended that Alice has completely ignored him and was being almost purposefully rude now.

Alice tutted and just relied with "Not really." Shrugging and flashing him a quick sarcastic smile, that seemed a lot more natural than the one earlier.

Before Artemis could insult her any-more his body guard spoke, "Artemis a word please, if you don't mind." Butler asked beckoning him over standing little further away from the table so Alice could not hear them talking.

"Why?" Artemis questioned suspiciously

"Just do it." Butler told him

"Fine." The young genius got to his feet reluctantly

"Do mind not being intentionally rude to her, I actually want this to go well." Butler whispered

"I'm not." Artemis said also in low tones, but was met with a stern disbelieving look off Butler "Oh okay then I shall try my best to be civil but as you know I am not exactly an expert in the field off talking to girls my own age."

"Tell me about it." The massive Eurasian, rolled his eyes. He knew all to well what the boy was like .

They waked back over to the table and Artemis sat down and Butler excused himself by saying and he had to go to the bathroom when I actual fact he was head hunting for possible assassins. And whispered to his principal as he left "Your on your now." he also thought it would be interesting to see how the boy would cope on his own for a bit.

Artemis sat awkwardly looking anywhere but at Alice, who was still texting with her on earphone in , if he was up to date with modern fads or did not find them extremely ludicrous to being with he would have performed an Awkward turtle, but of he did not do that instead he took a wild stab an conversation,

"Sooo... he said what are you listening to?" he asked knowing full well that he would not know the artist since he did not care for modern music and especially not the kind that would feature in a teenage girls play list.

"You wouldn't know them." She replied frostily as though she had just read his mind.

"You never know," He said as weak attempt to keep the conversation going.

"Okay,Three Days Grace there a Canadian, Metal band,." as Alice spoke she swung her legs round of the chair next to her and sat up properly leaning forward slightly.

"Can I have a listen then?" Reaching is hand out to take the earpods from her her. She obliged passing him the blue wires. He put hem in his ears with a little difficulty not being used to this kind of thing and being blasted by the loudness and taking them straight out, "Turn it down a bit please." Artemis asked. Alice did with a shrug. Artemis put them back in his ears and listened to the music carefully,

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me  
>No one will ever change this animal I have become<br>Help me believe it's not the real me  
>Somebody help me tame this animal!<br>This animal, this animal _

Artemis was surprised through all the screaming racket, he could here deep meaning in the lyrics meaning that he could relate to, the conflicting guilt he had since he had mesmerized both of his parents and he was not sure what to of any more to continue his criminal career or be a hero like his father said.

_I can't escape myself  
>So many times I've lied<br>But there's still rage inside  
>Somebody get me through this nightmare<br>I can't control myself_

Again the lyrics surprised him they were surprisingly good, although obviously not up to the standards of Beethoven but compared to the train wreck of today's music, not to bad. He took the headphones out of his ears and passed them back across the table.

"Not to bad." Which was a huge compliment by his standards.

"Oh, so your not so high and mighty for this kind of music Lord Smarty Pants?" She joked,folding her iPod away and putting it into a jacket pocket that sat on the back of the chair.

Artemis did not have time to reply to this as Butler reappeared with (Who Artemis only assumed was) Caroline whom he had met as she came through the door.

Caroline was about 40 -45 Artemis guessed, had dark brown hair flecked with grey and in a knee length emerald green dress that matched her eyes, she bore little resemblance to Alice except for her eyes which were also a startlingly bright green. She grinned at him kindly as she took her seat next to her daughter.

"Hey honey," She said to her daughter warmly, Caroline to talked with a Liverpudlian accent, then turned to Artemis " You must be the great Artemis Fowl, Butler has told me so much about you, lovely to meet you or maybe it wont be by some of the stories he has told me." She picked up a menu from the centre of the table, as did Butler and Alice.

Artemis flashed Butler a signature evil, " It's a pleasure I'm sure." He smiled falsely also taking a menu

"Oh I'm sure your not as bad as some of the tales say you are," Artemis looked down at his menu this point, riddled with guilt he sure his actions had been as bad she had been told. " I'm sure you and Alice can be great friends."

Butler gave a loud fake cough at this point which clearly said to Artemis, _As if, you can't get along with anyone your own age,_

"I'm sure we can, ay Lord smarty pants." Alice said though contrary to her earlier behaviour , grinning broadly.

"Yes she is a bright girl but needs to apply herself more at school, you can't get through your whole life with fluking good grades and not revising." Her mother gave her a stern slightly disappointed look

"Just watch me and I don't revise because I'm lazy, I don't revise because I don't anything new from it." Alice moaned obviously a discussion they had had many times before.

Again the Irish teenager looked down at his menu, feeling extremely awkward. A young waiter then appeared next to them and asked what they would be ordering, Caroline and Butler both ordered lobster, and then asked Alice what she would like to order.

Alice pulled her face at all the fancy food on the menu not knowing what half of them actually were, " Erm...Do you have pizza?" She asked the waiter

" We do have pizza and chips on the children menu,"He replied

" Okay good I'll have that then with a blueberry and apple J2O please." she said passing the blond waiter his menu back.

" Would you like the same too sir?" He addressed Artemis which was a big mistake, apparently.

"No I would not like anything off of the children's menu as I am sure the children's menu taste better than the food on it," he snapped pulling out a classic phrase from his old witty retort book. "I shall have the seafood platter and a mineral water to drink and no ice please." Sending the waiter scurrying back to kitchen for cover as if under fire.

"Oooh calm down Arty that guy nearly cried." Alice said sarcasticly, although she used her sarcasm to disguise the fact that she felt very belittled by the fact that he felt himself above her by the fact he refused to touch the food she ate.

He shrugged the comment of acting as if he could not care less, but to his own surprise he found that he did not mind very much Alice calling him Arty like he did when most people used to name, although lately more and more people had been using this name and any how, it was better than _Lord Smarty Pants. _

The rest of the evening went surprisingly smoothly considering that Artemis Fowl was involved and most of his meetings usually ended up with at least some gunfire and he found himself being able to talk to Alice rather easily something that rarely happened wit someone his own age. Although there was a funny yet humiliating moment when Alice sprayed her J2O all over Artemis with a massive spit take, when she laughed at a waiter behind her tripping and dripping some kind of sauce over a woman's back and walking away as though nothing had happened. The young genius took it all in good measure considering he was covered and his hair smelled horrible and sweet and went all sticky, although he spent a good 20 minutes in the bathroom trying to clean up and still had his designer suit covered in purple juice as though he had spilt blackcurrant squash down himself, like a 6 year old child. Although he was a bit irritated by the fact that Alice did not apologize and instead just laughed at him, along with Butler, instead Caroline apologized on Alice's behalf. It seemed that Alice did not do apologies, but Artemis could hardly complain not so long ago he would have been the same and there for let it go over his head just this once.

As they stood outside the restaurant about to depart Caroline and Butler embraced each and kissed. Alice made fake retching or possibly real sounds behind there backs and Artemis of course would not be so undignified and just said plainly "Someone pass me a bucket please I may be scared for life now."

"Just wait until your getting some action Artemis, you wont be saying that then." Caroline joked, then winking at Alice, both of there faces drained of the little colour they had and looked down embarrassed.

In the back of a taxi on the way to John Lennon airport to take a 1st class flight back to Fowl Manor, in the black cab Butler asked " So what did you think of her?"

"I thought she was really nice." Artemis replied sincerely, staring out of car window " I think she shall do you good, mellow you down a bit after all you are older than you look and cannot carry on getting yourself involved in my deadly schemes forever. Maybe it is time that you do mellow down a bit."

Butler gave a deep sigh of relief he had been most worried about Artemis's opinion he very rarely took to people. "And how bout Alice, you didn't exactly get off to the best start but could you maybe see your self having a friend your own age, who isn't a fairie?"

"Mmmnnn..." Artemis mused she had been alright he supposed and he could definitely get on with her, "Maybe."

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><p><strong>Whoo! Long chapter. So what do you think of my new characters, especially Alice, review and tell me if you don't like it I can't improve if you don't tell me it sucks;) Next chapter may take a little longer as I'm not sure what will happen, I just know that there is a trip to Alton Towers (A massive theme park in England) coming up and maybe a concert!<strong>

ARTEMIS: WHAT! Rollacoasters you never mentioned that in my contract

Me: Read the small print!

ARTEMIS: I DID!

ME: ...Shut it you!

ARTEMIS: Not a chance *smug grin*

**THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW.**


	4. Show Me The Money

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime**

**Chapter 4: Show Me The Money**

ARTEMIS was engaged in a another battle, except not a battle of wit and intelligence as usual, but of strength. Need less to say he was losing epically. His dark blue eyes locked with Alice's today, purple ones -She wore coloured contacts a lot she had over 50 pairs-, hands interlocked on the long dining table in Fowl Manor. Artemis was pushing all of his strength against Alice's arm but her still stood firmly upright in the middle. The worst part was she wasn't even trying. Instead just took great delight in the fact that he was parenthetically weak for a 14 year old boy, he too was rather humiliated by the fact that bio-logically speaking that he should be able to defeat her, being a girl. But his mind was telling him that this was not the case , especially with his under developed muscles. Butler had tried to give him some lessons in the dojo but he had failed miserably.

"Artemis weakling." Beckett piped up who was lying on top of the table and watching the Arm Wrestling

"Agreed." Said Myles standing up on the chair next to Alice, who was giggling at the twins. Artemis just looked more annoyed there wasn't a lot he could say. It was true after all.

Artemis and Alice had known each other over a month and hung out together a couple of times a week when Caroline came to visit Butler who were becoming stronger everyday, and brought her to keep each other company neither of them really had friends here. Caroline and Alice were staying in Ireland at the moment whilst it was the summer holidays but when they finished for Alice they would have to back to Liverpool and the would see an awful lot less of Caroline and Alice as they could not pop on a plane every other weekend just to see them. Artemis would miss her even he would not admit it to anyone, he had enjoyed having someone of his own age around. It had been fun, something that he had rarely experienced before. Chatting, teaching her things she didn't care about, her teaching him things he didn't care about, being tricked into doing all her summer home work, her getting him to listen to music that he was gradually starting not to hate, even looking after his brothers hadn't been the usual the catastrophe of paint and mud pies. Although he hadn't seen or even spoken to Holly once this summer he meant to call her but the longer he put it off the more awkward it got to call her so he kept putting it off again. He found that he didn't miss her too much anyway and she was probably busy anyway.

At that moment Angeline Fowl came though into the Dining Hall, " Arty dear, can you take the twins into your fathers study he wants to show them something," Alice then took this opportunity to slam Artemis's hand to the table.

"Fine, Myles, Beckett come on." He picked Beckett up off the table and putting him down on the ground and gesturing for Myles to go to the door aswell.

Alice got up to leave and follow, but Angeline kept her back for a minute.

" Alice I need a favour." she asked sitting opposite her in the seat her son had just vacated,

"Why?" the Liverpudlian teenager was naturally very sceptical.

"Arty doesn't have that many friends and hasn't lived a normal child hood and I have been worried that he hasn't experienced things that a normal teenager should." She explained animatedly

"And you want me to show him?" Alice caught on quickly

"Exaclty!" Angeline exclaimed glad that she had caught on so quickly

"I'm not sure..." She was cut of my Angeline,

"I will give you the money and you can do what ever you like and keep the change." She pulled out €500

in notes and Alice eyes instantly widened and her mouth split into a wide grin.

"Okay I'll do it." she said taking the money and folding the fresh bank notes into her back jean pocket.

Getting up to go and find Artemis and tell him that they were going to have a day out but then Angeline stopped her once more.

"Don't tell Arty that I gave you the money and asked for you to take him please" she pleaded

"Of course not Mrs Fowl." She grinned lying through her teeth, she had every intention of going straight to him now and telling him and that she was using the money to take him out on a day but refused to tell him where as she new he would object to it.He did not seem to be the sort to enjoy huge amusement parks with massive roller-coasters, especially Alton Towers – the biggest amusement park in Britain- he'd probably have a heart attack. It was gonna be HILARIOUS!

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><p><strong>ARTEMIS: We haven't had a single reveiw for this story since the last chapter, you killed of all our reader with that really bad long chapter. <strong>

**ROSE: I know, god why do you always have to be right?*sulks* **

**ARTEMIS: It's comes with being a genius. **

**ROSE: That was a rhetorical question. **

**ARTEMIS: And mine was a sarcastic answer get over it. **

**ROSE: Do you wan't me to get the lollipops out again? **

**ARTEMIS: ...**

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><p><em><strong>Thank You if you are still reading PLEASE REVIEW Even if all your review says is 'I'm Still Reading' <strong>_


	5. SCREAM!

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime**

**Chapter 5: SCREAM!**

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><p>"Where are we going?" Artemis asked in the back of a taxi on the way to his unknown destination, he had refused to come but he had been promised that he would not have to babysit for 3 months by his mother if he went along with it and a 3 months without having to endure his brothers wiping bogies on him or splattering him with paint would be worth whatever Alice had in mind as a day out to make Angeline happy.<p>

"Not telling you." she smiled

"Where are we going?"

"Not saying."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Fine." He opened the window to speak to the cab driver "Excuse me driver, could you please tell me where we are going?"

"Alton Towers, In Warrington." replied the moustached driver hoarsely

"Thank you." Artemis closed the shutter again.

"Damn you for being so clever." Alice crossed her arms in fake sulkiness, the Irish teenager just grinned at her.

"Why are you taking me there?" He asked suspiciously

"To go on the rides, duh, and you have to go on a roller-coaster, they are so much fun it's amazing!"

"Okay, fine but I'm not going on a the worst one in there straight away." The young genius was very sceptical, he had never been on a roller-coaster and had never seen the appeal but maybe it would be better than he thought. Maybe

"Okay.", Artemis had an uncanny feeling that she was lying to him.

And being Artemis Fowl he was 100% correct, she lead him through the the park to the biggest ride there was, Oblivion , a face down vertical drop at an amazing speed. He tried to refuse but by the time he had seen the first lot of people of the day screaming as they went down they were already in the queue with several people behind them but late to back out now. Anyway how bad could it be really? It was safe, but the screams from not far of didn't convince him to much. They showed there fast track passes and were whisked on board straight away and securely fastened in the middle of the front row. Inside him Artemis could feel the adrenalin rising inside of him as the ride slowly started going round the bend and being slowly tipped over the edge, so that they were look down at the drop about to come, it looked a long way down into a dark hole...

1...2...3

The ride dropped so fast and hard the wind blowing right up into his face, pounding so hard his skin was being pulled back.

"I HATE YOU!" He screamed to Alice on the way down who was laughing hysterically, as the force rapidly increased and then flooded away just as quick as they came back up through the hole and slowed down.

Artemis stumbled of the ride his raven hair blown back and sticking upwards, as he got of he couldn't help grinning widely, as awful as it looked it felt so good afterwards. He looked over at Alice who was also smiling wider and more naturally than he had ever seen her do.

"Like it?" She asked as they walked down the exit steps

"Pretty cool," Artemis genuinely surprised how cool it had felt, flatting his back down into it's usual controlled state.

"I thought so. What do you want to go on next?" She asked, "Still got a bit sticking up at the back by the way."

Artemis flattened his hair self-consciously, "Erm I dunno, can I have a look at the map? See what else there is." He asked Alice

"I didn't pick one up, did you?" She asked,

"Yes, I asked you for it because I have it." Artemis snapped sarcasticly

"Ooh, okay I only asked." Alice said,

After several more roller-coasters later and both of the teenagers were starving and ready for some food.

"What do you wanna eat?" Alice asked, "Hot Dog, Burger and chips?"

"Erm I dunno all sounds disgusting if you ask me." Artemis replied "You choose, you know what your doing." He shrugged, whatever it was it would probably make him sick anyway, usually he wouldn't eat anything like that but when your a growing 14 year old boy, and had recently acquired a stomach like a bottomless pit and had nothing to eat all day even processed meat scraps made into a sausage shape, and placed in a bun sounds edible.

"Okay then best get in the queue then," They headed over to one of the many fast food stands in the vast complex, they waited a few minutes in line, where Alice ordered extra large Hot Dog and fries and Coke for the both of them taking the bags of food over to a patch of close by grass where they sat down to eat. Alice took a massive bite out of her hot dog causing the ketchup to squirt all down her white _Green Day_ T-Shirt. She swore loudly and Artemis just grinned smugly as he always did, and as if to prove a point he took a neat bite out of his own with out making any mess at all.

"Show off ," Alice sneered jokingly, wiping the ketchup of her t-shirt and licking it of her finger.

"Your just jealous."

"True. How is it then?" She took another careful bite of Hot Dog

"Never tasted such tripe in my whole life but it fills my stomach." He shrugged, drinking some cola to wash it down.

"You get used to it." She said, there was a few minutes where they just sat eating and drinking, "Arty?" Alice asked looking at the many people passing by.

"Yeah?" He replied eating fries,

"Why do you put up with me?" Alice asked staring into her food,

"What?" He laughed "I don't know."

"But I insult you all the time, I'm not clever and usually you just destroy people like that." Alice explained

"Well mainly I like having someone to show off to all the time and I know I have Butler but he's been around less recently because of Caroline and you actually seem to try listen. And I think I like having someone the same age as me around for a change even if you do annoy me a lot." He explained ",and anyway I'm getting you back next week there is a psychics lecture in Belfast and your coming with me."

"Makes sense, I think." She nodded wiping her greasy fingers on the leg of her black skinny jeans.

The Irish teenager made retching noises "I think I'm gonna vomit." Artemis said, getting up and bolting the nearest public bathroom. His system used to eating only the finest of culinary was now rejecting the slop of everyday fast food they served in these kind of places.

After 10 minutes of puking up junk food in the toilets later Artemis came out looking pasty and green still, they decided that they best head home, so they took a first class flight back to Ireland from John Lennon airport, where Artemis threw up again. All in all not his most dignified moments.

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><p><strong>THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE WRITE A REVIEW :D IT IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY STORY MUCH<strong>


	6. Fairies

**Artemis Fowl and A Partner In Crime**

**Chapter 6: Fairies **

Artemis returned home for half term after the most boring term of his life at St Bartlebys boarding school,

no lab, no decent food, no one to talk to. Sure he could try to make friends but as if any one would want to be friends with him now, he had already built up his reputation as a cold hearted jerk and it seemed that it was not the kind of reputation that took seconds to break. He and Alice had e-mailed to start with but it quickly dropped of anyway now she was back in Liverpool she was probably settled back in with her normal friends, although now Artemis thought about it he had never heard her mention any friends or school at all for that matter. Yes it had been a very dull and lonely six weeks unless you count the countless therapists the school was referring him to none if which could seem to diagnose any of his mental issues that everyone insisted he had. But her and Caroline were flying back over tomorrow whilst they had a week off. He was looking forward to seeing her again but right now he needed to sleep in a bed that didn't feel like he had bullets in his back.

Next day before noon Caroline and Alice drew up to Fowl Manor in the black Bentley, Butler had picked them up from Dublin Airport. They came in and Butler showed Caroline there room, leaving Artemis to show Alice her room for the week. She smiled at him and he tried his best to smile back but he didn't think it came out right. There was an awkward moment when neither of them knew what to do, most people would hug after not seeing a friends for weeks but neither of them was really a huggy person. SO Alice just settled with

"Hey brainiac, are you gonna show me my room or what?" She asked,

"Oh yeah, right this way." he said leading her up the stairs, and she followed struggling to pull her suitcase up the stairs.

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><p>"Fairies?" Alice poke into Artemis ear looking over his shoulder reading the name of the folder on the computer screen, he had not heard her come in a jumped violently and hurried closed down the window.<p>

"Don't do that to me, please." The genius panicked

"Can't make any promises." she smiled " Anyway you don't believe in fairies do you?"

"Don't be ridiculous of course not they are just a mythological figure, a work of fiction. Why?" Arty asked "Do you?"

"Of course I do." Alice confessed "Stupid I know but I really do." the scouse girl sat down on a swivel chair beside Artemis's own.

"That's just ridiculous believing in something without any substantial evidence foundation." Artemis would defend his fairy friends secret to the death.

"You would be surprised how much credible evidence you kind find the the existence of fairy people actually and anyway I've seen them, I met one."

"What are you gibbering about?" Artemis questioned, she seemed pretty serious, maybe she was high? Alice wasn't the type to do drugs though, or so he thought.

"Fairies I saw them hen I was a kid only, can't even remember how old I was very young though and we were in a car crash in the middle of now where it was icy and we went right into a tree. Mum was unconscious and I was in the back and I remember blood and being so terrified. Then all I remember was this person except it wasn't a person it was a fairy and he flew, he healed my cuts with blue sparks and I felt better and then he just vanished into thin air and a few moments later the ambulance came. I think he called for it because no one had seen us" Alice reminisced

"That's just ridiculous." Artemis said, he new full well that she was telling the truth but he could hardly confess about everything could he?

"Suit yourself, no one ever believes me, when I was younger and didn't know any better I got put in months of councillior sessions for talking about it by school. In the end I just learned to not talk about it everyone still thought I was a complete nut case by this point though. Everyone just stayed clear of me really." She sat spinning slowly back and forth on the swivel chair

"Yeah I hate councilling it is so boring and they never know what they are talking about anyway. Such a waste of time for an intellect such as myself."

"Yeah, they act as if they know you but really they haven't got a clue." Alice looked down at her feet.

Artemis nodded slowly, he really despised people who thought they knew him, how it felt like to be him. Because none of these people had a clue really. No idea what it was like to be alone for so long and have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Everyone relying on you for the great ideas and the solution to their pretty problems. They had no idea.

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><p><strong>ARETMIS: This is such a bad filler chapter and you killed people of again<strong>

**ME: No I didn't and be lucky it got this far -.- **

**ARTEMIS: You've only done 6 chapters and nothing had happened that is important.**

**ME: Just you wait and see...**

**ARTEMIS: I get scared when you get that luck, it usually means some one is going to die.**

**ME: He he he :D**


	7. You've Got Mail

**Artemis Fowl And A Partner In Crime**

**Chapter 7: You've Got Mail**

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><p><strong>PING! <strong>

_Artemis received an e-mail and instantly knew something was wrong as well as colour coding his e-mail he had custom sounds for them. This one popped up red and sounded emergency , the young genius opened it hurriedly all other feelings gone from his mind. The mail read;_

_Artemis Haven in truble on way! Foaly wil B in touch._

_Holly xxx_

The Irish prodigies heart skipped a beat, his mind racing with endless possibilities of what may have happened to his friends. He pressed the intercom button and spoke in it to Butler.

"Butler get in hear now, emergency." He said, he heard his body guard to apologizing to Caroline and running towards Artemis's study. A few seconds later he faithfully burst through the doors.

"What is it Sir?" Butler asked worried

"Butler it's Haven, they're in trouble again." Artemis checked the CCTV Alice was in her guest room straightening her black hair with loud rock music blasting and her mother was in the kitchen making coffee. Good, out of the way for now.

**PING! **

Another e-mail was received, this time it was of Foaly

_Artemis, whole fairy computer systems have been hit with a virus all computers are down except my own and it will not last long. Haven has gone into complete lock down. You have to fix it, hack into my systems and remove the virus or else Haven will die, we are running on back up generators now and we wont be able to power the city for long. HELP!_

_P.S We do not yet know if it is Koboi or not_

_~Foaly_

Artemis instantly started taping at his keyboard hacking faster than he ever had before. Behind him he heard Butler jump a little as Holly appeared behind him, being a body guard made him very jumpy.

"Holly what have I told you about doing that too me?" Butler asked

"What can I say I like to keep you on your feet big guy." Holly smiled at her old friends despite the dire situation

"If Haven is lock down how did you get hear?" The bodyguard inquired

"I was already above ground just finished a Recon mission in France and I flew over here as soon as I heard the bad news." The elf explained

"Makes sense." Butler nodded

"How you doing there Arty?" Holly said more seriously, redirecting her attention.

"Not bad, I'm into the system, but this a serious virus it's gonna take some time. I don't know who could have designed this thing but they are very clever and that's coming from me." His premature frown lines deepening. The scary thing was not that the boy genius was having a little difficulty destroying the virus (even if Artemis did not want to admit how hard the job was), no the worst part was the slight admiration in his voice. He knew that this technology was good and not just good but equal to him and that meant a lot.

"Why what's the problem?"His bodyguard asked

"It's complicated." Artemis replied battering the keys still.

"It always is, try us Fowl? Were not as dumb as you think sometimes" Holly asked

"That's a matter of opinion. Well I'll put it in very basic terms for you to soldiers then, basicly it has made the whole fairy system collapse and everything this virus eats everything and I can cut of parts of it but it just comes back stronger and harder. Everything is in lock down. My PC isn't connected to the fairy main frame so it isn't effected thankfully. But basicly I need to find the source of the virus but I don't seem to be able to get to get to it." The boy genius reeled off.

"And knowing your devious brain as I do , Artemis Fowl you have some hair brain scheme which involves putting all our lives in danger, you reaping a substantial reward from the fairy people and everyone else suffering." Holly said sceptically

"Well actually, now you come to mention it ….." Dark eyes glinting maliciously

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><p><strong>ARTEMIS: Finally! Something happened. Maybe this story wont be a total disaster after all<strong>

**ME: Doubtful, it's going to crash and burn probably. **

**ARTEMIS: Least we agree on something for once **

**ME: Anyway you would cry when you see how it ends. **

**ARTEMIS: I don't trust you at all.**

**ME: And so you shouldn't, just watch this space and be prepared for an epic finale stuffed with filler.**

**ARTEMIS: Kill me now.**

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><p><em>Thank You for reading and please <strong>review this story<strong>, Thank You :D_


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